The boring legal stuff…

All content on this site is copyright Gary Tull © 2012-18. It may be possible that some third-party intellectual property (IP) is present but this is only where the content is believed not to cause any detriment to the original content originator. If you believe that there is such content on this site that you own the IP rights of then please contact me and I will happily remove it. Also, if you are happy for your content to be here but would like a credit statement then please let me know.

GaryReggae™ is a trademark of Gary Tull, the creative meister of audio and visual adventures and the ska organist of Great Britain.

Mr Arthur T Flowers (Esq.) has kindly written the rest of this page, which you must read below.

WARNING: read the instructions before proceeding.

DANGER: browse at your own risk; I will accept no responsibility whatsoever for any damage caused by reading this.

Please pay attention to this important safety announcement. The cabin crew are there for your comfort but primarily your safety. Life jackets are located under your sea.

Do not inflate until you are outside this website. Children’s flotation equipment is available from the cabin crew.

All portable electronic devices, such as laptops, mobiles and ducks must be set to the flight safe mode. Devices that do not have a flight safe mode (such as Geese) must remain switched off for the duration of your visit.

Any resemblance to persons, dead or alive, real or fictional, is purely the work of a troubled mind.

Store in a cool, dry place out of direct sunlight.

Smoking is not permitted anywhere on this website. It is illegal to sell tobacco to persons younger than 18.

Closed circuit television is in operation.

All correspondence may be monitored for training purposes.

Shake well before use. I see you baby, shaking that tree. Shake it like a Polaroid Picture.

Batteries not included.

Dogs and babies must be carried at all times.

All forms of Reproduction are strictly forbidden.

Do not touch the blades whilst the machine is in use.

For best results, use The Drawer.

No boots, no hat, no work, no women, no fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it’s hard.

Do not attempt to disassemble. There are no user-servicable parts inside.

Do not remove the identity stickers. Doing so will invalidate your warranty.

Breaking the seal indicates your acceptance of the terms.

In case of malfunction do not return to the vendor. Repairs must be made by an authorised repair technician.

If symptoms persist, consult your physician.

Do not pierce, incinerate or macerate in an industrial shredder, even if apparently empty.

This must not be disposed of as domestic waste. It is highly volatile and must be disposed of as hazardous waste. If in doubt, consult your local high-level radioactive waste specialist.

Do not immerse in water or hydrochloric acid.

Do not tumble-dry under any circumstances.

In the event of spillage, remove immediately all contaminated clothing.

This is not a toy.

Do not ingest or swallow. In the event of the aforementioned hazard consult immediately your designated repudiated claims specialist.

Some assembly required.

Warning: the contents of this website will be hot after heating.

Please remain seated until this website has came to a complete stop. A non-complete stop is not a valid excuse for procrastination.

If you have a complaint, please write it down and throw it in your nearest dustbin.

Do not drive or operate machinery after using this website.

Do not exceed the specified dosage.

Discontinue use if nausea and/or dizziness occurs.

No diving. It is dangerous to dive ofthis pier.

No purchase necessary.

The next station is Chandlers Ford, where this page will terminate. Please ensure you have all your personal belongings with you when leaving this page. Thank you for visiting this website.

All correspondence may be monitored for training purposes.

The editor’s decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into subsequent to that.

Do not breathe fumes.

Use only in a well-ventilated area.

Do not use near naked flames. Or naked men.

Contents may settle.

Avoid alcoholic drinks.

Please do not leave luggage or children unattended at any time. Any unattended articles are likely to be removed without warning and destroyed by a squad of geese brandishing offensive weapons.

This website contains content from sustainable forests and was not tested on animals or sea gulls.

Contains a CFC-free propellant.

Mind the gap. Stand clear of the doors please.

In the event of fire, please go to the pub. Go directly to the pub. Do not use a lift. Do not stop to collect belongings. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200.

NOTE: fire extinguishers are strictly for ‘fire’ use only.

Please consider your environmental responsibility before printing this website.

This website is intended solely for the addressee shown. If you are not the addressee then you must destroy this instantly,  as it may contain top-secret information. If you have printed it then you must destroy the printout using a shredder rated for the destruction of top-secret information. Once you have destroyed all traces of it, including the contact details,  then you must send, with an explanation that will be rejected if it does not contain over six million words and is written in the Mongolian language, to the postmaster, who is entirely fictional. Any onward distribution,  reproduction, dissemination, discussion or correspondence of this website by anyone other than the addressee is strictly prohibited under federal law.

Please note that this website contains the views of the persons concerned and; unless otherwise stated, does not express the views of the Webmaster. This website shall not be binding notwithstanding explanation of obscure legal writing not must it be construed as a contract under the contractual nonsense regulations.

Last updated on Wednesday 19 September 2018 by GaryReggae

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